Writing in the 9 to 5 world.

I've loved writing since I was a little girl. I remember when I was in first grade trying to actually write a chapter novel all on my own. It was ambitious but it was fun. In High school, I had to do writing and read from it once a week in lit, and I did chapters of a novel. I also had an honorable mention in a poetry contest due to the fact that apparently the judges had no idea which category to place my work and thus just decided to give me an honorable mention. I also know that my high school teacher and my college writing professor thought I had a chance to get published (though I still take that compliment with a grain of salt from my college professor as he a famous Swedish smut writer). So the question is, why haven't I written more, and formed at least a full portfolio by now?

 When it comes to writing, one of the hardest things for me is getting digital words on digital paper. I have ideas, I have inspirations, but actual acting on them is where it is tough, There are a lot of reasons why:

I am a happily married woman with a rambunctious five year old with a full time job. My job is full time and I work as (for lack of a closer term) an insurance underwriter, which means I tell agents why they cannot place insurance policies on homes without roofs, and explains actuarial philosophies. Outside of my workday, I have cooking,cleaning, organizing, bills, planning, comforting, mothering, try and force myself to exercise, have time with the husband and then sometimes I get a bit of time for myself, by which point I'm usually mildly brain dead which makes writing unappealing. During those points I feel like my writing would come out as a pile of random words as opposed to actual usable rough drafts. 

Ultimately however, the aforementioned distractions really are nothing more then excuses. There is one simple rule to being a writer: You have to write.  I've found it isn't necessarily about being published, it isn't about being famous, and it isn't about money. At its core, writing is something that needs to start as being done for the sake of doing it. If you end up getting published - awesome! If you change people's lives and inspire others, even better.  You can't make that the soul goal for writing however. Why not? Because you will end up being disappointed, bitter and lose focus on what is important about being a writer.

What is important about being a writer? I don't think there is once answer save that its different for every writer. For some I imagine its to try show the truth of the world, for some its about putting joy into others lives and for some it might be about an insatiable need to get out a story that sits inside their minds day in and day out. Whatever the reason, they are all valid and equally important reasons to write, and each author needs to decide for themselves what drives their pen.

I don't know if I myself can put into words what drives me as a writer. If nothing else, I would say it is the need to tell the stories that I think should be told, to highlight the sides of people that others miss, and to make an emotional imprint on a reader in a world that sometimes threatens to become stagnant.

All I can say now is my hope as a writer is to be able to focus on my own craft, and to be able to share my craft with others, even if it may only be via the web or a writers club. 

Until next time!

Chao!